spirit_zone: (cold)
[personal profile] spirit_zone
Mom's 96 year old father, my last surviving grandparent, died a couple of days ago.

I don't have many feelings about the man, and most of what I do feel is colored by his decision to live with my aunt, who's been practicing a kind of Amish shunning of my mom for a long time now. Over the last ten years, she wouldn't answer email, rarely spoke on the phone (and often not at all), and wouldn't show her face when my parents visited her dad at their home. Her behavior -- somewhere between neurosis and sociopathy -- has caused a lot of grief over the years, and that situation continues. Even now, my uncle refuses to address it. So we won't be going to the funeral, or having any further contact with them. When the estate papers arrive in the mail, Mom will sign them, and that will be that.

I hope he didn't burn through all his savings, and that my aunt didn't talk him into cutting us out of his will. My aunt and uncle are both well-off, and would probably want to shut us up and keep us away more than anything, so there's some hope on that front. It could mean that we get to remain in California. Especially if our building gets sold off at some point in the future.

I don't do well with people's silence. It probably makes me a hypocrite, because I've left the social part of the Internet more times than I care to remember. But I don't want to do what my aunt did to someone and keep them in emotional pain for years. I don't want it done to me, either.

Date: 2017-04-07 12:35 am (UTC)
jewelfox: A portrait of a female anthropomorphic fox, with a pink jewelled pendant and a cute overbite. (Default)
From: [personal profile] jewelfox
I'm sorry to hear about all this. >_> Is it okay to ask why she was shunning her, or is that too personal?

I still remember when my great-uncle died and left a small pittance to my FOO, giving more generous shares to my relatives and to some men that we'd never met. I didn't realize it was because he was gay.

Date: 2017-04-15 07:05 am (UTC)
jewelfox: A portrait of a female anthropomorphic fox, with a pink jewelled pendant and a cute overbite. (Default)
From: [personal profile] jewelfox

Aww. >//> Yeah ... a lot of people from unpleasant families are unpleasant themselves, and it's really touching IMO when someone decides to break the cycle and care for others instead.

I'm sorry about all the unpleasantness, and I'm glad you have caring people in your life. Belatedly.

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